I just went went for a walk to this place where I used to play when I was a kid; it is just an awesome place, it is right across the street from my mom's house, in Mexico City of course.
While I was walking I put on my iTunes and started playing an old Margaret Becker album from 1992, it is called Steps of Faith; have you ever heard it before? If you have not, I recommend you go and buy it, download it, rip it, whatever; if you don't, you will be a loser, ok maybe not.
There is a song in this album that makes me weep every time I hear it; that is no exaggeration, it really makes me cry. It reminds me of a season in my life in which I was waking up to know God in Jesus, my faith was being tried like a steel sword to the fire; it was all dark, and smoky, and burning.
That whole season of my life was a trying time, the first half of the 1990's were hard for me and my whole family. My dad passed away, and then six months later my oldest brother Carlos passed away too; I barely had any money and I had to borrow from my employer so I could buy a plane ticket to attend my dad's funeral.
Just a few months earlier I had come to Mexico City to visit my dad in the hospital, I don't remember the exact dates of all this, but I was in the hospital along with my brothers and neighbors and my dad's brothers, and my cousins and friends, it was a big crowd; then I suddenly started to talk to my little brother about Jesus, I didn't care who heard me. He gave his life to the Lord right there in the hospital.
The following day, as we were getting ready to have dinner, I started talking to Matilde about Jesus (she was the house maid, she was with my mom for about 45 years); she told me she had already been reading the bible but she couldn't understand it; I explained that up to that point she had been reading someone else's mail. She became a Christian right there in mom's kitchen.
That night during the 'merienda' time (merienda is a light snack that people eat in Mexico at night, usually around 9 PM); as my other 3 brothers and my mom were seating at the table, I started to talk about Jesus to my brother Carlos, he was 4 years older than me, never married, traveled the world, etc. He was a free spirited kind of guy; he became a Christian right at the table that night. We all held hands while he prayed with me. It was beautiful.
God saved three of my family members in 2 days, just like that. That night my brother told me he had AIDS, I broke down like a little boy; I couldn't believe my dear Carlos was going to die soon. Back then there was no knowledge on how to treat HIV; there was no way to even extend your life if you had AIDS, at least not in Mexico. Treatment was available if you were rich, my brother was not, and neither were we. I love my brothers, dead or alive.
Later on when I got home, I went to see Margaret Becker at the San Diego Symphony Hall, her music really lifted me up, the way she wrote those songs was very special to me, almost everything she put out touched my heart in some way, so I listened to her music a lot. I wonder where she is now, if she has not gone to heaven she is probably old, and I bet she is still walking with God, I have no doubt about it.
How often will my kids and grand kids remember me? I often ask this question, not because I want them to remember me (I do), but because I wonder if I have led a life that is worth mentioning in a conversation. I guess it really doesn't matter, what matters is if I remember God, I know He thinks about me and His thoughts towards me are more than can be counted. Here are the lyrics to the song:
Who Am I?
Who am I Jesus that you call me by name?
I am counting stars on your blackened sky,
You call them all by name, You know them all by sight;
In the sea of light, I sense your majesty,
and I break at the thought
that One so great could care for me.
Who am I Jesus, that you call me by name?
What could I ever do to be loved this way?
Who am I Jesus?
In your eyes, tell me who am I.
I am counting the mountains
That I laid at your feet,
and I'm reduced to tears when I think of how
you've moved them for me
In the storm of life
You've been my safe retreat,
through the wind and the fire
You've always were there to carry me..
Who am I Jesus that you call me by name?
What could I ever do to be loved this way?
Who am I Jesus?
In Your eyes, tell me who am I.
No greater honor could I ever find
than the privilege to love you for the rest of my life....
Who am I Jesus,that you call me by name?
What could I ever do to be loved this way?
Who am I Jesus?
Who am I Jesus?
In your eyes, tell me, who am I?
Have a nice day.
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