I need prayer...

God works in ways that are so far from my understanding, and sometimes so illogical, that He makes me worship Him when I see what He is doing not only in my life, but in the lives of those whom I love.

Some of the things God allows in this world make me very angry, and some just brake my heart; some things cause the wrong response from my flesh, others cause the right response from my spirit, there is a battle going on inside of my heart.  I'm a regenerated son of the Living God in the process of being sanctified, and I say that with joy inexpressible, really; I am extremely grateful that God will not leave me like He found me.

I started going to church again, after about four years of isolation from God's people, and I'm really digging the teaching.  Maybe I should explain why I stopped going to church, but then this post would turn into a book of lamentations and we already have one in the bible, I think one is enough; but the main reason was that I basically got tired of the man-exalting heretical teaching I kept on hearing from the pulpits of those places; I couldn't stand it.

During that period of time, I learned a lot of things, so it was not wasted time at all; in fact I believe that God had foreordained the way it happened; I look back and I realize that it was designed by God to make me grow.  I never really stopped having fellowship with my brothers, and for sure my fellowship with God and with Jesus got more solid in some weird way, I don't know how to explain it, or if that could be possible but it was.  Of course I don't recommend you stop going to church, it is not a good idea, besides the bible says to go, remember that verse, "do not forsake the gathering of yourselves together, as the manner of some is"?  Yeah, that is a command to be obeyed; I was one of the "some".

Anyway; this world is getting worse and worse by the day, just look at the news and you will see what I mean; and in the middle of the chaos, there exists the heart ache and the personal pain of seeing how evil touches everything, but above everything there is the blanket of God's providence, and the assurance of His promises; I know for sure that if it wasn't for God's grace and His unwavering desire to be glorified in all things, I'd probably be drinking Chivas all day long.

Eutychus and I were having a conversation the other day, one of the many we constantly have; and he mentioned that he wondered why we don't see miracles very often; I also wonder about that often, but since I spiritualize everything, I mentioned the fact that, when we open the bible to seek God, a miracle happens in that very moment.  I'm serious.  It is a supernatural event.

Have you ever thought about that?  Think about it; why do we read or study the bible?  It is usually because we feel prompted to do it, and who are we prompted by?  God Himself.  That is a miracle in my book.  God causes His Spirit to conquer the resistance of my flesh and my mind, which are totally opposed to read or study His word, and that is a supernatural event.

I don't know about you, but I do live in the supernatural every day of my life as a believer.  Of course I know there are some people who read the bible out of duty, or just to check the box in their to do list; most of the time their mind is somewhere else, so it is a total waste of time, but you get what I'm saying, I hope.

Others think that the bible is boring, or irrelevant; but I wonder if those people even have the Spirit inside of them.  If you really have the Spirit inside of you, I think it is impossible to not want to know what God says about Himself and about yourself; how can you not desire to know Him more and be more like Him?  Then it is all just a game, you can call yourself a Christian all day long until you are blue in the face, but your actions deny it.

Which brings me to the main reason I started writing this post; my daughter was recently asked for a divorce by her so called husband; the guy has been cheating on her while he was in a Navy deployment to some God forsaken place in Asia (I know that point is not true, He has not forsaken it yet since we have Christians there); this is the second time she finds out about his cheating, yeah he has done it in the past, I think more than twice, and she forgave him; but it turns out that he has never repented; he is a total idiot, that is the lightest term I can use in this post to describe him; I'd like to call him something that ends in 'hole' and begins with 'f'; it's a two word term.

They have been married almost ten years, with two beautiful kids, my grand kids; in their most critical season in their tiny lives, seven and nine years old; and this guy says he is "not happy" and blames my daughter for it; where am I?

It shouldn't surprise me at all since the same thing happened to me, but that is irrelevant at this point; the point is that he calls himself a Christian, which just makes me even more angry; really?  You are a Christian?  What happened to the vows you made before God and men?  What happened to 'love your wife as Christ loves the church'?  What happened to 'bring your kids up in the knowledge of God'?  What happened to this guy?

He is walking away from his family for the sake of "I'm not happy"; what a self centered, piece of crap, selfish bastard; as you might have noticed by now, I have no respect for people of such class; worse than a non-believer.

That's the deceitfulness of sin in action; total depravity in action; fornicating with some rag and dragging the name of my King to the gutter, and devastating his faithful wife and children in the process; what a low life.

God remains King of the universe; He reigns supreme above all hearts that have been broken, over all the pain, over all the death, and bombings, and divorces, and broken families and broken dreams; He has a plan, and He will repay, vengeance is mine says The Lord.

If my ex-son in law is a Christian indeed, I fear for him; for chastisement is coming, and when God spanks His kids, it hurts; just ask me, I know.  I pray He will have mercy on him, and mostly on my daughter and my grand kids.

So I will close with a request, pray for my grand kids, and my daughter; and pray for me that I can come to the point of not hating this guy and to forgive him; I already murdered him in my heart many times, and I have repented of it; but I don't feel any compassion for him or the desire to pray for him, I have prayed that God would grant him repentance, but that's it; pray for me that I pray more; that I am a good example to my children, that I would be the one, among many, who points them to the One to whom all things are possible; that I don't remain bitter.  Oh how I need God!

I feel better now, thanks for reading, and have a nice week.  Maybe my next post will be more uplifting for you all.

Stay away from crowds unless you are at church.

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