Pray all the time, even in your dreams....

Today I realized, deeply realized, that I have unconsciously created a habit of praying and talking to God all day, it is one of my realities for sure, but then I stopped to think about it and saw that in all this talking, I listen very little, if any at all; so this line of thinking sent me on a trip to analyse what exactly it is that I am in the habit of doing.

I asked myself a series of questions: is what I'm doing really praying?  Is it just talking?  What is prayer?  Do I understand what prayer is?  Am I supposed to listen or try to listen?  Am I supposed to be having a conversation?  How does God talk to me when He does?  And, is listening, or hearing from God, part of praying?  Do you see what I got myself into?

I think this is going to be another one of those long posts that some people dislike so much; oh well, so be it.

What do you do when you have questions of this kind?  The way I see it is that I should go and check what God says about prayer first, I should check His word and see what He says about prayer, right?  Or should I just ask the pastor?  I ask too many questions, and I don't think I could answer them all this time; but I will eventually answer them, maybe in another post.

Right after I wrote the last paragraph above, I went to bed last night; so here I am in the morning writing again.

Are dreams real?  I have to write this before I forget about it, so here it is: Last night I lay down to sleep on my bed, yeah, I do this every night, don't you?  So as soon as I closed my eyes I started dreaming, this was very strange, I usually don't remember any of my dreams, but this time it appeared as if I was still awake; I saw my self on my bed; then I saw someone that looked like one of my brothers (he just looked like him but he wasn't) come and put a blanket on top of me.  Right before that moment, I felt that someone had just laid on the bed next to me; and then I felt this enormous pressure being exerted on me; and suddenly I was floating up in the air with the blanket on top of me.

I couldn't move, the blanket, which was dark blue, had me trapped in mid air, and I didn't like it, I couldn't move, I tried to get up and I couldn't, so guess what I did, I started praying, and screaming; let me go! In the name of Jesus let me go!  Then I felt the pressure go away and I woke up.  I actually woke myself up with the sound of my own voice; and once awake I opened my eyes and I felt my skin crawl up in a chill.  Wow, I thought, that was weird, and I thought that I was going to stay awake for the rest of the night, but I closed my eyes and fell asleep right after, then I woke up this morning.

A few days have gone by since I started writing this post, last night I had another one of those episodes, but this time I cannot recall what was I dreaming about, all I remember is that I woke myself up as I was trying to talk in my dream; I wonder what it is that is happening to me; the whole thing is just too weird.

At any rate, I am reading The Institutes of The Christian Religion, by John Calvin; I have been reading this book for at least 4 or 5 years.  Every night I read a few pages, and I really enjoy the way he writes, the way he communicates his thoughts is amazing to me.  Calvin's view of God is majestic; according to what I remember reading about this book, he started writing it when he was 17 years old and finished it when he was 25, the first edition was written in Latin; I'm probably wrong regarding the ages but who cares.

Going back to prayer; Calvin has a whole section of this book dealing with the Lord's prayer, which we all know, right?  Here is an excerpt:

"By prayer and supplication we pour out our desires before God, asking as well those things that tend to promote His glory and display His name, as the benefits which contribute to our advantage.  By thanksgiving we duly celebrate His kindness toward us, abscribing to His liberality every blessing which enters into our lot.

David accordingly includes both in one sentence, "Call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me," (Ps. 50:15). Scripture, not without reason, commands us to use both continually. We have already described the greatness of our want, while experience itself proclaims the straits which press us on every side to be so numerous and so great, that all have sufficient ground to send forth sighs and groans to God without intermission, and suppliantly implore him.

For even should they be exempt from adversity, still the holiest ought to be stimulated first by their sins, and, secondly, by the innumerable assaults of temptation, to long for a remedy. The sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving can never be interrupted without guilt, since God never ceases to load us with favour upon favour, so as to force us to gratitude, however slow and sluggish we may be.

In short, so great and widely diffused are the riches of his liberality towards us, so marvellous and wondrous the miracles which we behold on every side, that we never can want a subject and materials for praise and thanksgiving."

And here is more:

“Hence (as has been said), when our divine Master was pleased to lay down the best rule for prayer, his injunction was, "Enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret, and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly," (Mt. 6:6).

Dissuading us from the example of hypocrites, who sought the applause of men by an ambitious ostentation in prayer, he adds the better course--enter thy chamber, shut thy door, and there pray. By these words (as I understand them) he taught us to seek a place of retirement which might enable us to turn all our thoughts inwards and enter deeply into our hearts, promising that God would hold converse with the feelings of our mind, of which the body ought to be the temple.

He meant not to deny that it may be expedient to pray in other places also, but he shows that prayer is somewhat of a secret nature, having its chief seat in the mind, and requiring a tranquillity far removed from the turmoil of ordinary cares. And hence it was not without cause that our Lord himself, when he would engage more earnestly in prayer, withdrew into a retired spot beyond the bustle of the world, thus reminding us by his example that we are not to neglect those helps which enable the mind, in itself too much disposed to wander, to become sincerely intent on prayer.

Meanwhile, as he abstained not from prayer when the occasion required it, though he were in the midst of a crowd, so must we, whenever there is need, lift up "pure hands" (1 Tim. 2:8) at all places. And hence we must hold that he who declines to pray in the public meeting of the saints, knows not what it is to pray apart, in retirement, or at home. On the other hand, he who neglects to pray alone and in private, however sedulously he frequents public meetings, there gives his prayers to the wind, because he defers more to the opinion of man than to the secret judgment of God.”

Whether he is right or wrong in what he is saying, my experience has been that one only learns to pray when the knowledge of God is there by his word; and this is God's initiative.  God chooses to reveal Himself to those whom He has chosen; as I said before, Jesus said that no one knows the Father except the Son, and whoever the Son chooses to reveal Him to. 

If you have been regenerated by God's Spirit, then your status is that of an adopted son, or daughter, who when in trouble or despair cries 'Abba Father', knowing that your cries for help and mercy, and grace, will never be ignored, even when they are even defiled by our own imprefections, since as Calvin also says, our prayers are sanctified by our one and only mediator between us and God, the man Christ Jesus, who is in constant intercession for His people; and as the apostle says in Hebrews, He is not ahsamed to call us 'brethren'.

So delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 34); meaning that whatever desires you have when you delight in God, will always be such as are pleasing to Him because He will give them to you to start with, and whatever proceeds from Him is always good and holy, and perfect.

I shall continue to talk about this, maybe in another post, or maybe not; whatever.  I hope that I have put some good thoughts in your mind as you battle with the flesh, the world and the devil.

Have a nice day.


http://makariotes.blogspot.com

No need to feel ugly....

I had planned to start another blog, and continue to write there after deleting this one; I started it but I only posted one time there.  That was back in December 17 2009; I have just read it and I like it, it doesn't sound like me for some reason, so I'm reposting it here just to keep it all together; yeah, I warn you, it's long, and I'm not changing it; read it slowly and pay attention, or read it twice, or do whatever you want, I'm not going to tell you what to do.

Here it is:



Ephesians 1:15-21 Therefore I also, hearing of your faith in the Lord Jesus and love to all the saints, do not cease giving thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened, that you may know what is the hope of His calling, and what is the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us, the ones believing according to the working of His mighty strength which He worked in Christ in raising Him from the dead, and He seated Him at His right hand in the heavenlies, far above all principality and authority and power and dominion, and every name being named, not only in this world, but also in the coming age.

Oh, that I could learn to pray like that. Paul knew what prayer is about, huh. When I read Ephesians, especially chapter one; I can't help but to be in awe of God. It's Paul's prayer, and by consequence Jesus' prayer and God's desire, that we may be granted by God the Father the Spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him; in the knowledge of the Father.

Reason gets in the way of just accepting this at face value; the Spirit of wisdom and revelation... I will probably not make any sense. The way He does this is by enlightening the eyes of our understanding, first to digest the word of God and then to know who He is; Jesus said it: John 17:3 And this is life eternal, that they might know You (the Father), the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.

The only possible way for me to know the Father, is to know the Son (John 1:18), Jesus said: John 10:30 I and the Father are one! So when I read that, "in the knowledge of Him", it means the Father, but it also means the Son; it's beautiful.

The eyes of my understanding are the eyes of my heart, of my mind, the eyes by which I perceive everything around me, and by which I see the spiritual things that God has blessed me with; these are the eyes that have 20/20 vision at all times; these are the eyes that allow me to see Jesus in His word.

Will the eyes of my understanding be opened if I get a brain tumor? Will I know the Father deeper if He told me I was about to die? God is just too merciful to me; I don't deserve to be here, I don't deserve to see my children's faces, to hear their voices; I don't deserve to have Jesus be revealed to me; I don't deserve to have His Spirit. But He chose to do that...

Mat 11:27 All things are delivered to Me by My Father. And no one knows the Son except the Father. Nor does anyone know the Father except the Son, and the one to whom the Son will reveal Him.

If I ever get the eyes of my understanding opened so that I can know the Father, is only by Jesus choosing to reveal Him to me; that is what He said. it is not my choice; and that is exactly what Paul is asking; that God may choose to reveal Himself to me; I have no idea how the previous statement got italicized, seriously, it just happened as I was writing.

I probably clicked the I symbol by mistake, I can't see how that would happen, but it did. Anyway...

The reason I need to know the Father, besides the obvious, is so that I can know the hope of His calling; what calling? What meanest thou? The hope of eternal life; that calling, the hope of eternal happiness and fulfilment, the hope of having a body and a mind that is willing to obey God at all times; the hope of being in an undefiled body, free from temptations and sins, and fleshly desires, that is the hope, that is my hope, that is the hope to which I have been called, to be like Jesus and with Jesus. My hope is to be with Him; to be like Him is worthless if He is not there.

But why do I need to know this hope? Isn't it something that I have always had, since I became a Christian? Didn't I have this hope from the beginning? Obviously not; and even if I had it, it has never been to the extent designed by God.

But who am I anyway? What gives me the authority to talk about these things? What makes me think that I am right, or that I'm wrong? And does it really matter if I'm wrong or right? Not really. What matters is what God says that matters, in this case, that the eyes of my understanding might be opened for me know what is the hope of His calling.

And not only that but that I might know what is the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints; wow, God has an inheritance; an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for me who believe and who is being kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation, says Peter, (1Pet.1:4-5); that's amazing.

I was cruising through my dashboard yesterday, and I ended up in this girl's blog; and the title to her post was: "I feel ugly"; I read it and it made me weep, I read it and it really made me think about my daughters; how many times have they felt ugly and I didn't know about it? I felt ugly at the end, I am an ugly sinner, and old ugly sinner with no Christmas tree; but then I started thinking, by God's moving in me, about Ephesians chapter one and the wonders that await me; it blew my mind. That's my inheritance, glory with Jesus, with the God Man, in heaven, forever.

But why? Why is this so? Why does He want me to know this? The answer to that question is contained in the few verses before: we have received a deposit of that inheritance, the Holy Spirit, for the praise of His glory; that's it, for the praise of His glory; that is the purpose, that is the end, the praise of His glory.

But the praise of His glory would be incomplete if it is not the praise of the glory of His grace; His grace, demonstrated in the coming, dying and resurrecting of our Lord; the King of the universe; Jesus Christ, the one and only God over all, who is blessed forever, amen.

The most important, and greatest, and unmatched and unequaled person in the universe, is the Lord Jesus; period. Nothing and no one compares to Him; all the beauty, all the holiness, all the wisdom, all the power; and all the glory and might belongs to Him alone; and it is to Him, to Christ Jesus, that belongs the praise of the glory of God's grace; in Him are hidden all treasures of wisdom and understanding, in Him alone is the love of God revealed to men and women, and it is from Him alone that the revelation of God's amazing grace comes from.

God wrote the letter to the Ephesians by the hand of Paul; God Himself dictated the words contained therein and directed them to the Ephesian Christians, and to me, and to you; and 2000 years later we can read these words and take courage and revel in the amazing request of this man of God for the eyes of our understanding to be opened so that we can know the Son of God; and have eternal life and joy.

Paul is asking that we might be filled with the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of the Father; that the eyes of our hearts, our understanding, our minds, be opened so that we may know three "whats"; the third what is "And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power, which he wrought in Christ, when he raised him from the dead, and set him at his own right hand in the heavenly places"

The ESV puts it like this: Eph 1:19 "and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might
Eph 1:20 that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places"; His power is immeasurable in greatness, unquantifiable; infinite.

This power, He says, is the power He is exercising in us who believe; so I can clearly see that I believe because He is exerting this power in me; but this power is not like any power; but the same power He exerted in Jesus Christ to bring Him back from the dead; is not the power He used to create the universe, is not the power He used to divide the Red Sea; is not the power He used to fling the stars into existence; no, this power is greater than all powers, it's the power of resurrection, of divine life.

Do you see what I see? Do you feel like I do? Are you not in awe? Is your heart not filled with praise to the King? Maybe not; you can't be amazed on your own, God has to open the eyes of your understanding; He is the One who has to amaze you.

If you are not in awe; there is nothing you can do to be in awe, you can't gather awe from the recesses of your heart, you can't open the eyes of your understanding, you can't see what is the hope of your calling, you can't see what is the riches of the glory of His inheritance, you can't see what is the power that is being exerted in you to believe; unless God does it for you; there is no way out of that one.

But if you read and understand Ephesians one; then you can be sure that it is God who is causing you to understand; if you don't understand, there is no need to feel ugly, no need to feel less loved, lack of spiritual understanding doesn't make you less in the sight of God.

The only possible reason for anyone to understand the riches of His glorious grace, is so that we can give praise to Him; as John Piper says: "He is not intending to make much of us; He intends for us to make much of Him". We are nothing and we are undeserving of anything from the King of kings, but He is absolutely deserving of everything from us; even the glory of a breath of air.

God's grace is amazing; it ravishes the heart; it demolishes man's self-determination; it obliterates the ego; it turns a worm like me into a precious possession of the King; not because of anything I have done, all I have ever done is sin against God; but because of His great love, because of the counsel and pleasure of His will, and to the praise of the glory of His grace.


http://makariotes.blogspot.com

The works of God, and Jesus' logic.....

"Then they said to Him, "what must we do, to be doing the works of God?"  Jesus answered them, "this is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He has sent". John 6:29.  (click the picture).

"What must we do? We want to do what God wants us to do"  That is what they are asking; and it could not be any plainer than what Jesus says, this is what God does, this is His work, that you believe in Him whom He has sent, meaning, that you believe in Jesus as your saviour.  The question obviously arises: is 'believing' something we do?  Is that a work?  Absolutely, it is, but it is not our work, it is the work of God; and how do I know that?  It is right there in the text.

Do you believe in Jesus?  Yeah, you who reads this.  If you do, and say yes I do, but not like the "Jews who believed Jesus", then that is the work of God.  Believing is something you do, but it is impossible to do it unless God works it in you first; so it is an action that originates in the will of God; He is the cause of your believing; you faith is a gift from God, as Paul says in Ephesians 2:8-10.  As a gift, there is nothing we can do to receive it except receive it; we don't work for a gift, we work for wages not for free stuff.

Let's say that it is my birthday today; you come to my house for cake and to sing the happy birthday song to me, and then you give me a box wrapped in pretty paper and with a bow on top of it; it's a gift; I'm delighted with the gesture, but you are also delighted in giving me the gift, you must be since it completes your joy; or doesn't it?.  I didn't do anything to get the gift, all I did was to be born, and even that was out of my control; so I really didn't do anything at all to get a birthday gift; on the other side, you are the one who had to work to get the gift, you had to pay for it, and then wrap it and write the little card; the gift you gave me cost you something, it was not free for you to give it. The Giver pays the cost of the gift.

The moment you ask me to do something to get the gift, the gift just became a wage, a payment or compensation for what you call a gift; if you say that you will give me a gift if I jump through your hoops, then you are a liar, aren't you?  But God doesn't lie; He can't do that, lying is one of those things that God in His omnipotence cannot do; it goes against His nature, and against His character, which is absolute and infinite truth, pure unadulterated truth; if God could lie He would actually deny Himself, and that is an impossibility.

The reason I was thinking about what I just said, is that I was reading John again this morning; I can't seem to be able to get out of chapter 8, I'm kind of stuck there; then I was about to open E-Sword to read the commentaries and my eye caught that picture above.  I had saved it to my desktop, I took it one morning about a year ago; of course that does not mean I have been reading John for a year, it really doesn't mean anything but the fact that Jesus' words were actually illuminated by the morning sun light.  It was dark and I cracked the curtains open just a little to get some light; and by "coincidence", the light hit those verses the perfect way; so I took a picture of it since I thought it was cool that it happened like that; what are the odds of something like that happening the way it happened?  Anyway, I spiritualize everything, so they say.

This is what I was thinking about, it is in the second half of chapter 8:

John 8:34-59  Jesus answered them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is a slave to sin.  The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son remains forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. I know that you are offspring of Abraham; yet you seek to kill me because my word finds no place in you.
I speak of what I have seen with my Father, and you do what you have heard from your father."
They answered him, "Abraham is our father." Jesus said to them, "If you were Abraham's children, you would be doing the works Abraham did, but now you seek to kill me, a man who has told you the truth that I heard from God. This is not what Abraham did.
You are doing the works your father did." They said to him, "We were not born of sexual immorality. We have one Father--even God."
Jesus said to them, "If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God and I am here. I came not of my own accord, but he sent me. Why do you not understand what I say? It is because you cannot bear to hear my word.  You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
But because I tell the truth, you do not believe me.
Which one of you convicts me of sin? If I tell the truth, why do you not believe me?
Whoever is of God hears the words of God. The reason why you do not hear them is that you are not of God."
The Jews answered him, "Are we not right in saying that you are a Samaritan and have a demon?"
Jesus answered, "I do not have a demon, but I honor my Father, and you dishonor me.
Yet I do not seek my own glory; there is One who seeks it, and he is the judge.
Truly, truly, I say to you, if anyone keeps my word, he will never see death."
The Jews said to him, "Now we know that you have a demon! Abraham died, as did the prophets, yet you say, 'If anyone keeps my word, he will never taste death.'
Are you greater than our father Abraham, who died? And the prophets died! Who do you make yourself out to be?"
Jesus answered, "If I glorify myself, my glory is nothing. It is my Father who glorifies me, of whom you say, 'He is our God.'
But you have not known him. I know him. If I were to say that I do not know him, I would be a liar like you, but I do know him and I keep his word.
Your father Abraham rejoiced that he would see my day. He saw it and was glad."
So the Jews said to him, "You are not yet fifty years old, and have you seen Abraham?"
Jesus said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, before Abraham was, I am."
So they picked up stones to throw at him, but Jesus hid himself and went out of the temple.

To start with, there are 7 "if" statements in this section of scripture, which as I mentioned before, is what I read this morning; there are actually 8 'if's" but one is a repetition, so there are only seven statements that begin with the word 'if'; which makes the statements conditional in nature.  Just like there are seven "I AM" statements throughout the book of John, in this passage of scripture the number seven shines again.

I bolded them so they are evident, and just as an experiment I'm going to list them here for you and I to trip out:
if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
If you were Abraham's children, you would be doing the works Abraham did, but now you seek to kill me, a man who has told you the truth that I heard from God.
If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God and I am here.
If I tell the truth, why do you not believe me?
if anyone keeps my word, he will never see death
If I glorify myself, my glory is nothing. It is my Father who glorifies me, of whom you say, 'He is our God.'
If I were to say that I do not know him, I would be a liar like you, but I do know him and I keep his word.

I will give you another interesting fact, in the gospel of John, the word "if" is used  84 times; 70 times by Jesus Himself; 12 times in chapter 8 alone; of course that is in the ESV; the number varies a little depending what version you look at.  Would you like to see all the verses where Jesus uses the word "if"?  You do?  Okay, good; prepare yourself to be reading a long list of conditional statements by the Son of God.

I changed my mind, I'm not going to list them, it will take too much space; let me go back to my trip about chapter 8 and what I was saying about the works of God, namely, that you believe in Him whom He has sent.

In the section of scripture above quoted, I have also bolded some words that caught my attention; and I bolded them so they would get your attention also; I have no idea why, I forgot.

Oh, I just remembered why I bolded them; because they relate to my opening statement, or I should say my opening quote from Jesus; and I asked myself, what were the works that Abraham did?  Wasn't he justified by faith?  Number one, Abraham believed God; which was the work of God in him, and number two, Abraham obeyed God; and this obedience was also worked in Him by God throught the faith He gave him; for some reason Highway 61 is going through my brain, God said Abraham kill me a son, Abe said where you want this kiling done? Down on in highway 61; I like the Johnny Winter And version.....sorry I'm getting sidetracked.

Anyway; I also found interesting that Jesus didn't asked these people to do anything, not a single time; He only uses logic; if, then; which is called conditional statements and they define a relationship, usually.  But Jesus' logic is devastating to the regular man's intellect; His logic puts one in a corner and against the wall of eternity and truth, and at the end of the day, the bottom line is a conditional conclusion: if you are from God not only will you believe, but you will never die, you will keep His word; you will hear His word, His word will find a place in you, you will be free indeed, you will obey God, you will love Jesus.

And if you love Him, is because He first loved you; before the foundation of the world.

Have a nice day, if you please.

http://makariotes.blogspot.com

Want some Living Water?

Up to this point I have 354 posts and more than 5400 page views in my blog; and there are six people who follow this blog; does that mean that those six people have looked at this blog more than 5400 times?  Maybe I'm the one who has looked at those 354 posts more than 5400 times; nah, I don't even look at my own posts, well maybe once in a while just to trip out on my own thoughts.

It's all statistics; I really don't care who reads this blog.  Did I say that before?  I guess I did.  Do you care?  I don't.  But I care that you read it; thinking about it fulfills my joy in a very strange and narcissistic (is that the right way to spell that word?) way. Now if the stats said "your daughters have read your posts more than 5400 times"; that would make a difference, I guess.  Anyway, I just thought that the numbers were interesting, this has nothing to do with what I'm about to say, of course; it is just an introduction to another post that doesn't need an introduction, okay, whatever man.

I should delete those two paragraphs above, but I won't just to be rebellious and to test your patience.

I don't know what your habits are, but I know mine and they are kind of weird, I have good and bad habits, just like every one else (that sounds like an excuse doesn't it?); let me describe an average two hour lapse of my life so that I can make the next point, which at this point I have no idea what it is.

I wake up suffering (I'm not complaining, I'm just saying), and with my mind in a fog; every morning I feel just as if I had been beaten with a baseball bat; sometimes it feels like I was tied on a rail road track and the train has just run over me; I sit on the side of the bed and take my first pain pill, I thank God for that pill; I then put my socks on, then my pants, my shirt and my shoes, I thank God for my shoes.

I go straight to the bathroom and pee; I thank God that I can still pee; in the corner of my eye I see a shadow of a man in the mirror; I usually ignore it, I know what I look like already.  Now if you are wondering if I take a shower, I don't; I take showers before I go to bed, is that weird?  Then I go to the kitchen and pour myself a cup of coffee; then I go outside and sit on a lawn chair, and the battle with my mind begins.  It is at this point, while I sip hot coffee and look at that big green tree in my neighbor's backyard,  that I start remembering things that happened years ago, they are usually things people have done to me, and which are hurtful; sometimes they are horrible events in which I hurt someone else, those ones are the most disturbing; I was a heart and law breaker, a depraved one.

I start praying without thinking that I want to pray; God thank you for giving me life for another day, thank you that I can still walk, thank you that I can still see, thank you for those birds singing in that green Macadamia tree, thank you that I can still hear, thank you that I still have this faith that will not go away; thank you Jesus for dying to pay for my iniquities, they are more than can be counted, as numerous as the grains of sand on Imperial Beach; thank you for rescuing me from the pit of destruction that I was sunk in, thank you for everything you have done for me, help me God.  That is how my prayers usually go, thank you and help me, there are more "help me's" than "thank you's" sometimes, well, most of the time; you can say my 'devotional' time is a long cry for help mixed with worship and repentance.

I pray that God would forgive me for all the wrong things I have done, all those abominable acts; and then I get reminded: "you are forgiven of all your sins, past, present and future; they have been cast as far as the east is from the west, to be remembered no more"; I remember this part of Psalm 103:10  He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. 11  For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; 12  as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. 13  As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him. 14  For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.  Thank you Jesus.

About an hour later, I have to eat so I go back in the house and make something, usually quesadillas; they are easy to make and they are fast; and as soon as I'm done cooking, I take my food to the dining room table and there I sit; my bible is already there on the table, it is always there, opened to the gospel of John, which is what I'm currently reading; my eyes go straight to those black lines on that white page, I thank God for the food, and for His word, and for those red words; help me God, again, help me to understand these words, my mind is so dim, my heart is so slow; I need light to see, and grace to understand, I need to hear from you.

Then I start reading and eating at the same time; this reading and eating happens at least three times every day, and I mean every single day of my life; I usually read for about half an hour while I'm eating, and during this time is when miracles happen, I step into the supernatural; but I don't do it on purpose, God just makes it happen; the first miracle is that my flesh and my spirit are in cooperation with each other; I'm getting food for both; the word of God dissolves the enmity between them.

There I read the following this morning:

John 8:31-38 So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  They answered him, “We are offspring of Abraham and have never been enslaved to anyone. How is it that you say, ‘You will become free’?”

Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin.  

The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son remains forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. I know that you are offspring of Abraham; yet you seek to kill me because my word finds no place in you. I speak of what I have seen with my Father, and you do what you have heard from your father.”

Is not that amazing?  John is saying, the Holy Spirit is saying, that Jesus' words are directed to those Jews who believed Him; really?  Think about it; He is calling them slaves of sin, and later on in that chapter, the children of the devil; He is saying those words to those who believed Him?  There is something wrong with this picture, right?  Every time you read 'the Jews' being mentioned in the gospel of John, he is talking about the Scribes and Pharisees, the religious people of the day; you know them, they knew the law and followed it to the tee; some of them are still walking around in and out of churches all across this town.

That reminded me of His words in Matthew 7:21  'Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’

These "Jews" who "believed" Jesus; didn't really believe Him, they just said they did; they were pretending proffessors.  They were slaves to sin even though in appearance they seemed to be righteous and professed to be His followers; they did the right things at the right times, but on the inside they were filled with greed, lust, murder, idolatry, adultery and lies; Jesus called them elsewhere 'brood of vipers', and 'whitewashed tombs full of death men's bones'.

“We are offspring of Abraham and have never been enslaved to anyone", they said, which is a flat out lie to begin with; what, did they forget the Babylonian captivity?  What about King Cyrus from Persia? What about Egypt?  And, they were slaves of Rome at that very moment; but the worse is that they were slaves of sin.  That is what Jesus' word does to you, it sets you free; free from the bondage of sin, free from the guilt; that is what the gospel does, it sets people free, indeed. And still, His word finds no place in some people; why is it that people constantly die in their sins?  It takes an act of God to open the eyes of the blind.  

Then Jeremiah 17:9 came running through my brain: 'the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked, who can know it?'; which as you might have noticed in my previous posts, is one of my favorite (how do you spell favorite? Favourite? ok, whatever) scriptures, so I opened the bible to Jeremiah 17, and this is what it says:

Jeremiah 17:5 Thus says the Lord:

“Cursed is the man who trusts in man

and makes flesh his strength,

whose heart turns away from the Lord.

6 He is like a shrub in the desert,

and shall not see any good come.

He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness,

in an uninhabited salt land.

7 “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,

whose trust is the Lord.

8 He is like a tree planted by water,

that sends out its roots by the stream,

and does not fear when heat comes,

for its leaves remain green,

and is not anxious in the year of drought,

for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

Verses 7 and 8 sound just like Psalm 1 don't they?  Oh but there is more:

Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? (this is the ESV but I like the KJV better, I think 'desperately wicked' is the right way to translate that word 'anash', which also means sick, incurable, woeful, frail, feeble) 
10 “I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.”

11 Like the partridge that gathers a brood that she did not hatch, so is he who gets riches but not by justice; in the midst of his days they will leave him, and at his end he will be a fool.
12 A glorious throne set on high from the beginning is the place of our sanctuary. 
13 O Lord, the hope of Israel, all who forsake you shall be put to shame; those who turn away from you shall be written in the earth, for they have forsaken the Lord, the fountain of living water.
14 Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for you are my praise.

Yeah, all that took about two hours of my day; and then I kept thinking about it.  On the one side there are those who claim to believe but they don't; then there are those who can't believe, and then there are those who believe and cannot stop believing; the ones who are 'known' by Jesus.

So how does John 8 relate to Jeremiah 17?  I don't know, you tell me.  But I think that there are people whose heart deceives them; they think they are saved, but they are not.  Their trust is in their performance before God; "I'm doing pretty good" they think, "I'm doing the right things, I'm checking all the boxes on that list that my heart made for me to do every day"; they trust man and make flesh their strength; they worship God with their lips but their heart is far from Him, that desperately wicked heart.

As I sat here in front of this computer; I kept on finding gold in those words above.  The more I thought about it, the more it opened up for me, all kinds of thoughts were racing through my brain; from being honest and faithful in the little things to God's sovereignty in salvation, from trusting God to distrusting my heart, to seeing my inability to "step it up", or "try harder" to totally surrendering and being powerless.  And I thought, as many times before, if You don't save me, I'm toast; so heal me and I shall be healed, save me and I shall be saved, completely saved, and totally free; for You are my praise oh God.

I have to end it here or I will keep on writing; but before I do, I ask: read those verses above and see how they relate to each other; in fact, go ahead and read John chapter 7 and 8, and think about the context; Jesus is speaking during the feast of Tabernacles, do a little study on what that means and how He fulfills it, see how His words match with the feast; it is all very fascinating and very enlightening to me; I really hope that it is also to you.

During the time I have been thinking about all of the above; I couldn't think of anything else; I wasn't bound by pain, or worry, or even sin and temptation; I tasted freedom for a few fleeting moments, and it was refreshing; Living Water was pouring out of my heart, and I liked it a lot.

Have a nice day.

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